Favorite Things - April Edition!

Does anyone else check Amazon’s daily deals just for fun?

(ok I’ll go ahead and state the obvious: I do.)

This is undoubtedly going to be the most random list of items but consider it a favor because most of the items below are at LEAST 35% off and a stinking stellar deal!

For the kids:

Insect Lore Deluxe Butterfly Garden —>seriously my kids would do this over and over and over again.

Two Pack of Prextex Remote Control Racecars —> for the littler hands (3-5yrs) — this is on crazy mega sale

WikkiStix Traveler Play Set —>mine, ages 9, 7 and 4 1/2, love to play with these

Marble Run - build and rebuild!

Kidirace Rc Bumper Cars —>for a little bit older, probably 6+; the guy riding goes flying off when the cars bump :) makes for a fun game on rainy days!!

For the Ladies:

Joopin Sunglasses — crazy ridiculous afforadable - as in, cheaper than Walmart and Target.

All Recipes Subscription - insanely discounted, several of the recipes I’ve shared on Instagram have come from this magazine!

Pill Organizer - Maybe I should be embarrassed to post this. But I have a really hard time sticking to my vitamins! But I hate having bottles out on the counter. So I tuck this in the silverware drawer that is opened what feels like 34872394 times a day.

INSTANT POT! - The best sale I’ve seen so far, other than maybe on black Friday.

Until next time :)

A Lesson In Sacred Community (final in series)

For the final article of our community series, we decided to work together to try to dig a little deeper and expose some of the hindrances we have to finding community for ourselves. We can probably all agree that we enjoy the benefits of community when it is done well and we are known and loved and can mutually share in life and all of the highs and lows that it entails. It’s just “the getting” to that point with people that makes it hard and sometimes intimidating to get started. Sometimes, then the conclusion is that it isn’t really worth the work, or the heartache or the energy especially considering the uncertainty. So, we posed the question, “Why should intentionally living in community with others matter?” to uncover some of those stumbling blocks. We also decided to answer the question based on one major personality identity box that most of us can place ourselves in-the introvert and the extrovert.

So, why should intentionally living in community with others matter to the introvert and to the extrovert?  Why should it matter to any of us? We believe intentional community matters because it matters to God.  He desires for us to be vulnerable and in community with one another.  Seeking ways to love and serve others that may take us outside of our comfort zones.  This is not always an easy thing…right?  I mean it involves people, and relating to people can be hard, especially when we don’t understand them or they operate differently than we do.  

I suppose I will speak as the resident introvert since of the 2 of us, that label much more closely describes me (Amanda). I remember taking a personality test in college that concluded about me, (at that time anyway), that I was “an introvert, who functions as an extrovert”.  I remember feeling proud that I had confused the system.  To be honest I don’t like being labeled or to be put in “a box”…I actually like when I take the same personality test and can get a different answer than one I have gotten before. However, I have to say, that I have found the value of being known for who I am and understood more fully.  It has allowed me to know myself and in turn have a better understanding of my own needs and even being able to relate to others more confidently.  It has also given me the gift of embracing who I am, what I am gifted at, what ways I do relate well to others, and encouraging me to pursue people and relationships in and through my giftedness.   

For example I may not be as comfortable giving an impromptu toast to a friend at her large birthday celebration, but given some forethought and a note card I will do my best to use my words to make that person feel loved and special.  I may not want to go out to the big party on New Year’s eve, but I would be so happy to sit down over a cup of coffee and talk about life.  Pursuing people from my perspective may look different, however, I am noticing and listening.  I can usually see the little nuances and familiar tells that let me know where a person is at and I can use that to show that person I care about what they are going through. I can write a note to encourage, or send a package with a small gift that communicates that you are important to me.  I can choose to be there in the hard moments of life, and maybe not say anything, not just because I prefer quiet, but because sometimes it’s better just to be present. 

 One of things I have come to terms with as an introvert seeking to live intentionally and in community with others, is that pushing myself to be with people and to be known is a healthy and good exercise in my journey. Truth be told, it is often easier for me to live in isolation. I love my alone time, I enjoy peace and quiet, I thrive in a controlled and serene environment. Quite frankly when you throw a person or people into the mix you often don’t have control, or quiet, or peace and definitely not alone time. BUT, I have learned that not only is that okay, it is actually often better for me to push myself into the unknown and discomfort in order to get outside of “me”.  The benefit for me of living in community is living in a less self-focused way and it actually empowers me to be intentional with others through the power of the Holy Spirit.     

When I had the idea to do this article together I suggested we tackle this topic from each of our sides of the introverted(Amanda)/ extroverted (Lily) coin and I simply posed this question to Lily: “Why does intentionally living in community matter to the extrovert?” I was surprised that she struggled, as I did, to flesh out, not only the benefit FOR others but FOR ourselves.   

The extrovert (Lily)- Well, now that we know the other half of life’s mysteries, I suppose I’ll dive into the extroverted side of things. To Amanda’s point about personality tests - I honestly don’t mind the outcome. But I struggle with answering. For example: “What if I pick the wrong thing?”, “Sometimes I feel that way, but not always.” “Yikes, I feel both of those feelings at the same time, how do I answer that question?” Personality tests actually go better for me if someone else takes them for me. So basically, I don’t know if that counts at all, and if I’m really an extrovert. But I feel fairly confident after being married to an introvert thru and thru, I’m for sure not that. I love being around people. Not always large groups - I love depth which often comes in smaller groups. But if we are going out to a festival, convention or restaurant, the more the merrier. I’m known to share too much right off the bat because I feel like we’ve been friends our whole lives and have already decided in my head that we will be friends forevermore. If I am home alone, I turn on the tv to live news channels so I don’t feel alone and feel like I’m experiencing the same day as people on tv, as opposed to say, a sitcom with actors. However :) having been married to the introvert, and most of my closest friends being introverts, I have learned so so much… about myself, about the Lord, about community.

 First, as much as I am energized by people, it is right and good and pleasing to also allow time for rest and being energized by the Lord. Which is so quiet, comparatively. But if I don’t allow time for rejuvenation and processing, I’m essentially using the idea of “community” to fill me up — which is, quite frankly, idolatry.

Another lesson learned in regards to the extrovert + community is that it is an opportunity to seek the Lord and operate by His leading when it comes the gifts of gathering and connecting. My natural inclination is to invite all the people, have all the gatherings, host all the parties, go on all the field trips and write all the hand written notes of affection and encouragement - which can be awesome! But community - and putting others needs and interests above my own (and even my own wiring) - offers the unique privilege and blessing to ask the Lord how others might be blessed and encouraged. Learning to operate in community being led By Him has been an opportunity for me to get outside of myself and look for a way to serve others as the Lord leads, and not just to my preference.

That being said - it is good - and ok - to recognize that your “type” is a gift purposed by God on purpose and for a purpose. Your God-given abilities are intended to share the love of Christ with others in a unique way that only you, by His grace, can do. God has given me a unique desire and delight in creating beauty, whether through meals or cozy spaces - and it is an absolute joy to invite others into that space. I don’t have to be embarrassed by that, but I can be thankful and use those tools as a means of connecting with others. With my natural inclination to gather and invite often comes the opportunity for the pursuit of others, which can sometimes feel draining or not worth it or maybe like it’s too difficult to connect.

However, we have to conclude and we really believe that personality type and how long it seems to be taking in creating that sacred community is never a good reason to not fight for community and inviting other people in. There is a great gift in both the introvert and the extrovert in that when submitted and yielded according to the Spirit, she can be a true and life-giving gift to any personality type. Embracing our own unique wiring and tendencies, is an opportunity to encourage others to find freedom and joy in the life-giving intention God desires in community…regardless of “type.”  Community is worth fighting for no matter what personality box you fit in or claim.  No matter who you are, you have something invaluable to offer to the rest of us. 

 

 

Gearing up for family time…

I don’t know about you all but I am so looking forward to some time to be with my kids, take a break from school, and spend some time outside and taking advantage of time together. Oh, and also no packing lunches, or sports practices, or alarm clocks! WooHoo.

Whether you are looking forward to Spring Break, thinking about the upcoming summer months, or just trying to make intentional memories as a family.  We are on a mission to take back our home, take back our family time, and take back the joy of being together. Really, this doesn’t mean we have to do more, it means we have to be intentional and sometimes even do less! We hope that you can find joy in making intentional memories and moments with your family and friends. If you need a little bit of a boost to know what to do, here you go.

We have a list of some of our tried and true games and activities, that have proven to be well worth their expense and many even have educational merit too.  Win-win.

 

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Pizza 31 game-originally sold at Hallmark stores, this is a fun and clever card game that helps kids (and adults) with their mental math and game strategy as they play. First hand to 31 wins or if you have a strong hand you can call “pizza delivery” and the round ends. It’s a favorite all around.

 

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 Ticket to Ride and Ticket to Ride Jr. – this is by far one of our family’s favorite games.  The new “junior” edition, called First Journey is a shortened version of the beloved game and makes for a quicker and easier playtime for younger players. It is a fun strategy game where you have to determine your best routes to accomplish your destinations to win.  

 

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Yahtzee, travel edition- such a fun and classic game and I love the easy container to keep all of the pieces in.  We picked this up one time while visiting while away on a trip and everyone had so much fun learning and playing this classic game together.

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Uno-this one never gets old.  This has become a favorite with even our youngest child.  I love that even younger players can understand and see “matches” to make the next move.

 

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Magnet blocks-these are a great toy for any age, but they make for a fun and frustration free building time, as even the littlest hands can learn to get the magnets to stick together to build.  Which means, you can have a pretty impressive tower built, with little instruction and with lots of creativity. 

 

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Snap circuits-my 2 bigger boys (12 and 9) especially enjoy figuring out new configurations and making things run and fly and alarm with their snap circuit set. You can also build onto the sets with additional sets to make things bigger and better.

 

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Set-This card game happens to be one of my favorites, so I reintroduced it to the kids, thinking it would be a particular favorite for one of our children who has a “visual” learning brain like mine.  To win this game you have to be the first one to see a set of three matches. It is fun to learn!

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No Stress Chess

 This is a two for one game and great for little and bigs alike! In one version you play with a deck of cards that teaches about each piece and the ways in which it can move. Once your budding chess player gets the hang of it you can forgo the cards and play the old fashioned way.

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Q-bitz Jr. 

This game is adorable for little hands and incorporates hand eye coordination as well as acute awareness to patterns and shapes. It comes with four miniature boards, each with a different colored set of blocks. There are multiple variations of the game, all resulting in matching your individual blocks to a pattern on a card. If your little one likes a challenge, you can race one another, set a timer and more.

A Lesson in Sacred Community (Part two in series)

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Biblical Community: What To Do When You Don’t Have It

Years ago when we experienced a miscarriage I remember walking out of the doctor’s office on Easter Sunday with such shame and embarrassment.  It was unmerited -  I hadn’t done anything wrong, and nothing could have prevented what we were now walking through.  But there was such a raw and real vulnerability in which I felt so exposed - excitement and anticipation diminished with the simple yet hollow words, “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat.”  It was like a punch in the gut, exposing every bit of me in the most vulnerable of ways.

Having just celebrated the resurrected king, eternal life with Him forever and ever, we were also simultaneously grieving the loss of our precious precious unborn baby.  In those two conflicting emotional extremes, I returned home to my husband and 2 year old at the time, and while there was immense sadness there was also a specific verse that kept coming to mind.  Maybe you’re familiar with it?  

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I  seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.  So I  have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.  Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.  So I  will bless you as long as I  live; in your name I  will lift up my hands.” Psalm 63:1-4

On this desperately sad yet eternally hopeful day, His word declared forth His love and it’s overwhelming power.  His love, better than life here on earth itself - better than any life entrusted to us, better than anything we might have in the here and now - His love is just so much greater!  And for that, I could sing praises.  His words and His love got me through the sadness, walked me through the shame, and gave me the rock on which to stand.  

Fast forward 5 years later and I was rocking my now third-born in a new and unfamiliar town.  In the dead of winter.  A winter like we had not ever experienced growing up.  I remember deeply longing for friendships and community like we had back in our hometown.  It was so hard to break through the cultural differences in our new city.  We had our dear church family but were not in close enough proximity to do the everyday together.  We had just begun our homeschool journey, which can be isolating enough in and of itself.  It was a season in which I desperately desired to plop on the couch with dear friends on a whim and enjoy a cup of coffee.  But it didn’t come.  In fact, it kept not coming.  I think I asked my husband to meet up for lunch a record breaking number of times within a year, and we for sure got to know the local Chick Fil A as if they were family.  It was quite honestly, a really lonely season.  About a year after we moved a dearest friend gifted me with a beautiful hand-scripted framed print.  As I opened it and began to read the words my eyes filled with tears. 

Because your steadfast love

 is better than life, 

my lips will praise you.  

I  wept.  I needed to be reminded.  And the Lord…won’t He do it?  His love is better than any plans I could conjure up for myself.  His love far surpasses any playdate, any inclusion to a homeschool group, and all the last minute trips to the zoo with friends.  I could live my entire life without that desperately longed for “tribe” and still be just fine.  Because His love is greater than all of it.  

It was during this season, the one in which I lacked biblical community, that God actually taught me so much about himself and what to do anyways.  I want to share some of those lessons learned with you.

What do you do when the community you so desire, and the community scripture so often encourages, just doesn’t come?

You lean in to Him.  You go deeper with the Lord.  The lack of community never changes the God who created community in and of Himself.  He is a constant friend, His spirit a constant companion.  The depths of His love, His grace, and His mystery are never ceasing.  And He always shows up. You don’t stop pursuing people.  Just because community isn’t returned, isn’t as prioritized, or maybe just isn’t as feasible for those around you, doesn’t change the biblical principal and your ability to pursue it.  Pour out that which has been filled in your own life.  But make sure you are being filled from the well which never runs dry.  Cultivate and create.  Sometimes it is hard to accept that finding deep, crazy connected, large tribe community doesn’t come often - and that’s ok.  Your college besties, newlywed small group, and young parents bible study may have seen the glory days, and yay for that!!  However, that may not be for the season you are in. 

Take a look at the who God has given you.  Maybe it’s not what you envisioned, or (sigh) who you prefer… but God has purposed each and every day and place: community the heck of out it.  

xo

Lily

9 Intentional Gifts for Easter

I’m not really even sure where Easter baskets came in to play, or Easter egg hunts - there really is no biblical meaning behind them whatsoever :) But they’ve become a part of our Easter tradition, a fun way to celebrate and delight in our kids. As I’m gifting my kids I often think of what it must be like to be the Lord - constantly bestowing good and perfect gifts to his children. Just because He can; Just because He enjoys to see our joy and delight. Can you relate?

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If you’re looking for a few unique, intentional gifts for this Easter, you’ve come to the right place! We’ve rounded up a few of our favorite things that make Easter baskets a little sweeter and a tad bit more meaningful.

1) Dayspring Dear God Girls Journal

2) The Beginners Bible Super Heroes of the Bible Sticker Book

3) NIV Beautiful Word Coloring Book for Teens

4) Doodle Through the Bible For Kids

5) Love Does for Kids

6) I Am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made Tee for Kids and Teens

7) Dayspring Boys Journal

8) Mudlove Inspirational Bracelets

9) Count God’s Blessings Dot-to-Dot

Stewarding the Season

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See this little guy?  He is my most challenging.  He’s fire.  Fierce and hilarious.  Loving and spunky.  Insanely loyal but also loves a good battle.  From the moment he was born we have been in a constant state of “you are hilarious” slash “what do I do with you.”  Do you have one like that?  I’ve been around so many children in my life and I have never met a child with as much persistence and grit.  He has pushed me to the end of myself more than my other three children combined.  I have spent so many days looking forward to when he’s —- old.  “Man, when we get there it will be so much easier!”…or, “I can’t wait for him to be able to do this!”

The grass does always seem greener :)  Turns out busted pull ups all down the side of bunk beds are actually worse, in my opinion, than babies who wake up cranky for two years!

This spunky, funky, hilarious, delightful third child of mine has been a much needed a reminder over and over, interruption after interruption, bedtime battle after bedtime battle, to steward THIS season.  You see, my mind rarely slows down.  I am full of big ideas and I love a good dream.  Ask me what I’m thinking and it’s like the pop up ad that won’t go away until you press control+alt+delete for 30 seconds.  Events of what could be, so many goals and mountains to climb.  But it can, quite frankly, keep my mind aloof and focused on things that literally have zero priority in my life in this season.  My tough little one reminds me to steward this day.  Steward this heart.  Steward this season, not the seasons 2-5-10 years down the road.  I can take one next right step.  And steward this moment and this hour.  I can put down my phone, walk away from the dishes, set aside the goals, and let the laundry sit a while. The beauty in the prayer and scripture, “Teach us to number our days,” lies in that we get the perfect teacher willingly guiding us on what and how to steward.

Are there things clamoring for your attention that have you grasping for more or goals that maybe aren’t for now?  Do you find yourself in a season that keeps you looking ahead to whatever season might be next?  Don’t miss out on what God has entrusted to you NOW and the opportunities He has laid before you.  “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1).”"


Choose well, today, dear friends!

A Lesson In Sacred Community (series)

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What does it look like to give and receive authentic and genuine gospel-fueled community; to be received for who you are and to give what you can genuinely give and to not be asked or required to do or give more than that?

From my perspective this was it.  It was the embodiment of loving others as you love yourself-or you yourself are loved.  It was December and just weeks after we had buried my mom.  I went up to visit my Dad and help him work through some things at the house and to pick out a grave marker for my mom’s grave.  It was my honor to be there and to do these hard things with my Dad, but we were exhausted after some emotional days and decisions.  After church we were invited to have lunch with a couple whom I have known my entire life.  They have deep history with my parents and my siblings and I.  Their youngest daughter was one of my best childhood friends and we roomed together in college.  So here we sat, knowing so much of each others lives, But this.  This season, this is new and foreign to everyone.  My mom was the first of their group of friends at church to die.  It was obvious in conversations with my parents’ friends and my peers that it was a stunning reminder of their own mortality and they all seemed to be taking stock of their relationships with each other.    So here we sat at a table with this couple, who we have known forever and are so familiar in so many ways, but who are treading this very unfamiliar and even uncomfortable terrain with my Dad.  I waited almost expecting a trite word or a casual and almost empty condolence to be spoken, but instead what happened over that meal was truly Holy Spirit filled and purposed.  I walked away feeling and knowing that my Dad was among people who are truly seeking the Lord’s wisdom and offering compassion and companionship to him.  I was so relieved, as I knew I would have to leave for home the next day, to know he would not be alone.  

And this is what I witnessed:

-They confessed that they could not understand what he was going through.  They allowed him the space to feel whatever it was that he wanted to feel and didn’t try to control or guide him by sharing similar experiences or show how they might be able to relate.  They just gave space and agreed that this was hard and that they wouldn’t try to understand.  

-They offered themselves.  They said to my Dad, “we know that you really don’t want to be around people right now, but also recognize that it may not be healthy for you to be alone all the time, so use us.”  Call us up for a meal and we will take you out and you don’t have to talk to us, we can just be together.  We will just be with you.  

-They prayed with him.  They prayed for hope and encouragement for him.  They prayed that God would be near.  They prayed for our family.   And from the sincerity  of this encounter I suspect that they continue to pray for my Dad and our family.  

-They cried with him.  They sat in his grief with him and they cried.  They grieved because they have lost a friend in my mom, but more so because their friend was grieving the loss of his wife.  They cried and waited.  In their compassion they showed that it is okay not to understand or even agree, but in this moment to just grieve and lament to the Lord that it hurts.  

-They gave space for him to speak and weep.  They didn’t try to finish his sentences or determine what needed to be said.  They allowed for time and silence.  And sometimes nothing came, just tears.  And that was okay too.  

They were there that day.  In every way I could think of.  They met him in his grief and they joined him there.  They provided a meal and companionship and gave of their time and comfort to be there that day.  They didn’t ask for anything in return or try to lighten the mood.  It was an honor to witness and an encouragement to my heart.   But even more than that, it was an image and a lesson in biblical community and loving one another.  

XO

Amanda

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Meet Amanda

Co-writer for The Hybrid Home, wife to Jason and mama to 5; living in Raleigh, North Carolina helping run she and her husband’s non-profit, Rooted To Live Ministries. She is passionate about women living their lives knowing who they are in the Lord and helping them find their voice.

Lent Reading Plan + Free Printable Bookmarks & Poster!

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As much as I love to prepare and ready my heart for Easter, it often gets away from me until the weekend of. This year we have created the sweetest Preparing for the Savior reading guide to walk you through the gospels during the lenten season. Each day covers about two chapters, suggesting a day of rest and reflection each Sunday, and finishes on Easter! We’ve created two adorable versions of this guide - one is a BOOKMARK (seriously…so sweet…and a really intentional gift to your small group or Bible Study…hint hint), and the other is a full page poster if you prefer hanging it somewhere around your home. We love these magnetic clips on Amazon for the fridge or chalkboard! The bookmarks are two to a page, and should be folded in half to include the entire reading guide.


To download your FREE Preparing for the Savior bookmark and poster, fill out the form below and use the links provided after submission.

Name *
Name

The watercolor images used in both the bookmark and page-sized poster are beautifully provided by Fox & Hazel and can be found here.

There is Hope

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My first memory of something being inconsistent in my home was probably around age four or five. I took a big gulp from a leftover kids cup in the fridge and came to a quick and bitter realization that it was not apple juice. It was the first time I remember being exposed to the sad truth of what was happening behind the smokescreen that was our life.

The pieces came together slowly for me as a child, not quite being able to name it, but aware something was vastly off; Looking back at old pictures I see a sweet, innocent and care-free spirit of the three, four and five year old version of me. That version of Lily is clueless and jolly; Social and energetic. But somewhere conditions deviated. Though I can’t recollect my age, it took place around the time I voiced my concern and questioned what was going on.

It happened when, as a little girl asking the innocent questions of “Why are you doing this? Why don’t you stop? Why are you so sad?” was faced with the painful and accusatory rebuttal:

“Maybe one day you can love me for who I am.”

It was the seed planted, the beginning of torment and the start of what would be decades believing and owning the lie that I was the problem.

One day you’ll be thankful for what you have.

One day you’ll see what I did do for you.

One day you’ll see the things I bought you.

One day you’ll…..

One day you...

One day you’ll see… that you and your words and your feelings were the problem.

I’m not sure what was more detrimental in my life - the actual emotional and verbal abuse, or the manipulation and twisting of truth to make me believe it was my fault and my burden to keep it hidden.

I stayed living under the lie that I was the problem and that my words, my voice, my opinions, my feelings were all utterly terrible. There was a hand placed over my mouth and my voice for 25 years; and even worse than believing the lie, I believed my life and my story had to remain hidden. I believed I had nothing to offer.

For anyone who has found themselves in an abusive relationship, or maybe you’re there now, you know all too well that blame is the number one tactic from the abuser. The abuser will go at great lengths to deflect and shift the focus in an effort to hide the lie.

However, the more consuming and severe reality for all of us, is that blame is the number one tactic from our accuser. We are all in a battle with one who comes to steal, kill and destroy(1) and our fight is not against flesh and blood (2). In fact, when Paul is telling the believers to guard and protect themselves against this spiritual battle, do you know what he starts with? He starts with the belt of truth(3). And our accuser knows all too well; he plants a seed and twists that truth, and then tells us to keep it hidden. He attempts to shift our focus and draw our attention away from this very thing that God is saying to put on.

The temptation therein lurks in the darkness. The lie that I have nothing to offer, the lie that I must keep silent, and the lie that says I must remain hidden prevents us from moving forward and putting on truth. However, Jesus and His sacrificial life, the words of His testimony and the Word recorded for all of time speaks otherwise. While it is true that love covers a multitude of sins (4), and love keeps no records of wrongs (5), it is also equally true that love protects (6) and rejoices in truth (7). Holding on to someone else’s choices, taking blame, and owning their shame and accusation isn’t protection and isn’t rejoicing in truth. It is not honoring. It is bowing down to the king of lies and believing what he has to say about you instead of what God himself has to say about you which, involves knowing and walking in TRUTH.

When we expose the sin, it becomes redeemable (8).

When we expose the hurt, it becomes healable (9).

When we expose the lie, He can replace it with truth (10).

When we are willing to accept truth, He brings freedom (11).

Job in his honest laments and outpouring refers to God as one who sets the lowly on high (12). We see a similar acknowledgment from David in Psalm 3:3, in which he refers to God as the shield around him, the one who lifts his head high also. During a recent teaching I learned that another word for lowly or downcast is the word shame. In these honest conversations with God we are seeing a sweet trait of the Lord in which he is intentionally bending down towards those being attacked, accused, tormented and abused; those who are covered in shame whether from another person directly or from the guilt and condemnation their choices have brought upon them, and lifting their precious heads. And when our heads are lifted and we choose to walk in the light, whether from our own sin or someone else’s, there is room to work with and freedom to be had. Don’t you see? The lies and manipulating of truth are what bring us shame. A wonderful and relatively well-known Bible teacher once coined the phrase, “doubt, fear, shame and blame are all part of satan’s stupid game.” (13) Oh, what truth it is! If that “thing” you’re holding onto is rooted in doubt, it’s not from Him. If fear and shame are keeping you hidden, lift up your gaze. If your mind is being flooded with blame and accusation, take heart! He longs to redeem what the accuser has attempted to destroy.

So many of us have been duped into believing a lie and are held in a hopeless form of bondage, feeling there is no way to look but down. But God actually says to the abused and to the accused: There is Hope! (14)

One of the more painful realities I’ve had to come to terms with is that while my shame and bondage come from a lie I was fed at an early age, the one who is hurting and abusing others is facing a different type of shame. The truth is that hurt people hurt people. Unhealed people go on living an unhealed life. Abused people go on abusing people. And to be honest, I have hurt a lot of people out of my own shame and hurt. Not on purpose or intentionally - I just wanted to be wanted. I wanted to be chosen. But God picked up my mess, brokenness and my longing to be desired and showed me that I am chosen. I am loved. I am longed for. He is safe. My voice and my heart are created by him and he loves them. My brokenness can be mended. Were it not for him, my life resembles one who abuses and accuses. Were it not for the cross, my path to healing and redemption do not exist.

Is there a lie that has been spoken over your life? A lie that started with just a little deviation from the truth? A lie you’ve claimed as yours to hide and bare alone?

Dear ones, the liar says Be quiet. Keep hidden. It’s not so bad. You aren’t worth being heard.

But the Redeemer says speak up, child. Walk in truth (15). My ways are good (16). You are worth it all (17).

  1. John 10:10 ESV

  2. Ephesians 6:12 ESV

  3. Esphesians 6:14 ESV

  4. 1 Peter 4:8 ESV

  5. 1 Corinthians 13:5 ESV

  6. 1 Corinthians 13:7 ESV

  7. 1 Corinthians 13:6 ESV

  8. Ephesians 5:13-14 ESV

  9. Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

  10. John 17:17 ESV

  11. John 8:32 ESV

  12. Job 5:11 ESV

  13. Breaking Free, Beth Moore, Living Proof Ministries

  14. Jeremiah 17:7-8 ESV

  15. John 3:14 ESV

  16. Psalm 18:30 ESV

  17. John 3:16 ESV


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Meet Lily…

Co-Writer for The Hybrid Home, Lily is originally from North Carolina where she met Amanda Tovey, the other half of the “hybrid.” She currently resides in the northern suburbs of Chicago where she homeschools her four boys and partners in ministry with her college sweetheart, Billy. She is passionate about childhood education, discipleship, and equipping & encouraging women in whatever season they find themselves in.

 

Trading Lies for Truth.  THE truth. 

When we talked about doing this collaboration about Trading Lies for Truth and I first started to think about what lies I have believed, there were many that I could list, but really there is one lie that stood out as the one that I knew I needed to write out.  It is an on-going struggle and one that I am just now learning to identify and find freedom from through Christ’s long-suffering love and grace.   It is this: that my feelings are a burden or an inconvenience to the people around me.  It is honestly more deeply rooted in the lie that I am unworthy of love…complete, unabridged, unconditional love.  Want to know something?  The name Amanda, my name, means “worthy of love.”   The very thing that is a struggle for me to believe was intentionally given to me by my parents in their love for me and then spoken over me every single day of my life.  Amanda, you are worthy of love.  That was intended by God to speak the truth of His love for me, don’t you think?   

This lie, that my feelings are an inconvenience to the people around me, I think took root in my heart a long time ago and it probably came from a combination of ways and events and moments in my life.  But it all culminated in the lie that my feelings and my opinions and me are a burden.   Not always a burden, sometimes I am helpful and useful and maybe even delightful.   But only when I give the pleasant and edited version of myself; the self that has not a lot of need, that is independent and self-sustaining, the self that is calm and steady.   What would happen if I was completely needy, utterly falling apart, and had no plan or way to help myself.  What then?  Who would want to take care of that mess?  

Well, God would.  In fact he invites us to be unbound and says he will “bind up my wounds” and he says to the brokenhearted that he will heal (Psalm 147:3).  He invites me to be at the end of myself, to cry out to him in my distress and to converse with him about my questions and even accusations.  Look at the conversations in scripture between David and God, and Job and God.  They are bold and unedited and full of feeling and emotion.  They are low and high.  They are transparent and honest.  Oh man, to be that real with myself and with God!  

He invites.  In his love for us, God always invites us to something better and deeper than what we already know.  He wants us to be fully known and heard and then, and only then, can we truly understand and believe how great and full and wide and deep is God’s love for us.  

*Insert disclaimer here; I recognize that there can be wisdom to holding my tongue, and the truth of God’s word emphasizes intentional words and selfless acts.  However, Jesus always spoke truth in love and did not appease people.  So with that as my example, and as clumsy as I may be, I have to learn to find my voice and to say the things I need to say.   Believing the truth that my feelings are not a burden to people around me.    

The lie that I once believed, that says my feelings are a burden or an inconvenience to the people around me.  The lie that whispers to my heart, “your hurt is your fault,” “your discomfort is because of your own unrealistic expectations,” “you may not like this but don’t hurt someone else for the sake of being heard,” can be undone by telling and retelling the truth of God’s love for me:  

That God first loved.  

That Jesus came to save out of his love for us.  

That my behavior, my feelings, and my expression of hurt, sadness, or disappointment do not cut me off from the love of God.  More than that, I can be completely loved even in the moments of pain and hurt, and utter disappointment, in ugly crying, and tantrums, and lament.  Even in those moments I am worthy of love.  You are worthy of love.  I am not a burden but a delight.  I am not cast away but invited closer and closer to his throne and his loving and tender care.  

Because I am Worthy of His Love,

Amanda    


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Meet Amanda.

Co-writer for The Hybrid Home, wife to Jason and mama to 5; living in Raleigh, North Carolina helping run she and her husband’s non-profit, Rooted To Live Ministries. She is passionate about women living their lives knowing who they are in the Lord and helping them find their voice.

Peace for 2019

I  love goals.  I  love planners.  I  love planning.  The start of a new year with a fresh calendar gives me all the feels of a little girl approaching their first day of school with a Lisa Frank binder in hand.

It’s a sweet time to pray over and dedicate, evaluate what went well last year and what didn’t.  Most of all to hear what the Lord has to say about the coming year - what to expect, where we can grow, what to hope for and pray into.  

So, coming from the gal the lover of all things big and goaly, Want to know my goals for this year? 

-Go to bed at 9:30.

-Get up no later than 6am.

-Take my vitamins.

-Read five chapters of Scripture a day.

At first I was conflicted between feeling 90-years-old, yet also accomplished.  These don’t seem that challenging.  Day 1: CHECK.  Day 2: CHECKED AGAIN.

However, the narrowed down focus comes largely from a desire for more peace.  How can I  parent better?  peace.  How can I  delight and enjoy my husband and marriage more?  peace.  How can I  make sure our family is keeping the main thing the main thing?  peace.  How do I  stop striving and start thriving?  PEACE.

We’ve all just come out of the glorious winsomeness that Christmas brings, joyously singing the familiar words, “His law is love and his gospel is peace.” Yet the moment Christmas wraps up we are rapidly ushered into days full of toiling and putting our hands, time, talents and treasures towards things that seem to be the antithesis of inviting peace.  How do we do we avoid that?  How do we usher in peace in a world that is screaming you must DO while it also vying for every bit of our energy and attention?  

 Matthew 22:37-40 teaches us,

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Leading up to one of the most famous questions asked of the Lord, “Which is the most important commandment in the Law?” Jesus spent much of his time sharing and teaching the disciples through parables and answering questions on what it meant to be followers of Christ.   Many of these teachings largely surrounded what it takes, or the sacrifices necessary to “make it.”  What does it take with my finances?  What about the Resurrection?  Who really gets to enter the Kingdom of Heaven?  What must I DO?  What do I not do?  Does this sound familiar as we navigate the new year? The day to day likely looks different than what the disciples were facing of their day and time, being largely dictated by the government and prisesthood - but the striving and desperation can feel similar.  We essentially find ourselves often asking and processing, what can I  DO to be better?  What can I  DO to get ahead?  What can I  DO to make every moment count?  Lose the weight?  Draw closer to God?  Accomplish more?  Save more?  

However, here we find that Jesus boiled it down to two simple tasks rooted in love.  To make it, to keep the main thing the main thing is to love.  Whom?  Him!  To love and pursue Him with everything we’ve got - and then to overwhelm those around is with the same love we’ve invited upon ourselves through Him.  And the beautiful gift about pursuing Him is that it always involves a filling up.  We call, he answers (Psalm 86:7).  We ask, He gives.  We seek, we find.  We knock, it is He who opens (Matthew 7:7-8).  And when we seek and find Him, we find the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).  

Jesus is essentially saying to his disciples and to every follower of Jesus after that to calm downPursue HimChoose LoveAnd you will invite peace!

You will keep him in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast on you, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.  Isaiah 26:3-4

This year I  want to welcome something different - I  want 2019 to be marked with peace - the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).  In the morning when I rise, I want Jesus: who is peace Himself (Ephesians 2:14).  Throughout the day when I  am tempted to do more and perform better, let peace rule (Colossians 3:15).  

So whether your dreams are big or small in 2019, be encouraged and run hard after him.  Go in peace!

xo

L

Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace.  If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace.  -Amy Carmichael


Our Advent Roundup - something for everyone!

I love celebrating every last second of the Advent season. So much truth to be told, so much wonder to rest in. I feel like everything is just better during the month of December … I don’t mind an early alarm one bit. Walking down the hall to turn on Christmas lights while the sun is slowly peeking in behind the trees, brewing a cup of coffee before little feet come tumbling out of bed is one of my most favorite things this time of year; Letting the kids stay in their Christmas jammies well into a cold day to color and read and share a cup of hot chocolate… it’s all just so treasured.

But it can also become so. stinking. busy. With gift lists and holiday parties and Christmas plays it is easy to get sucked into what feels like a hamster wheel leaving us all dumbfounded come January 1.

Below we’ve listed some of our most favorite and truth telling Advent resources below, a little something for everyone. For my family (Lily) we use some of these all throughout the day; a calendar in the morning with scripture, a family Advent book in the evening, and plenty of meaningful read alouds sprinkled throughout the day. This year we are trying something new with Focus on the Family’s Advent resource which includes an activity which we will incorporate into our school day.

For Her:

She Reads Truth Advent Book 2018

The Greatest Gift, Ann Voskamp

For the Family:

Unwrapping the Greatest Gift, Ann Voskamp

Jesse Tree with Ornaments

For the Kids:

Knowing Him By Name, Free Resource from Focus on the Family

Jesus Storybook Bible Advent Reading Plan

For Fun:

Trader Joe’s Advent Calendar (because Christmas = chocolate. Or something like that)

In what ways do you make the most of the Advent Season?

Open The Door

Often times our best intentions of making beautiful spaces can drown out the opportunities for real life connection.  Whether it’s the perfect meal, most beautiful dessert, well-dressed harvest tree - they can actually keep us from the heart to heart that most often happens in the realest and simplest of ways: messy floors, last week’s flowers and leftover banana bread.  And there’s something that is undoubtedly freeing when we are readily available and willing to open up our [imperfect] space and welcome others in. You don’t have to wait until you feel “presentable.” … keeping things simple - and real - gives you freedom in your schedule and home to keep the door open wide for whomever the Lord brings your way.  



Daring to Dream

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Daring to Dream

What do you love to do?  If you had a day to yourself to relax, how would you spend it?  What are your favorite restaurants?  Favorite places to travel?  If you could spend a day with anyone, who would it be?  

I'm not sure where you find yourselves in this season of life, but for a lot of women we’ve forgotten that we were actually human beings before our career took over or becoming a mother. Or maybe dreaming was never something you set about to do. Were you ever encouraged to dream as a child?  Did something happen that robbed you of the freedom to think big and outside the box?  Were you told that you have intrinsic worth and value in the Lord’s eyes, something only you can offer to others?

One of [many] favorite lessons I've learned from the incredibly gifted and kind Dr. Kathy Koch is that our children need to hear daily that were created on purpose, with purpose, for purpose.  Can I let you in on a secret?  I need to hear it myself.  Not just to oh, parent my kids with that powerful narrative and truth regularly.  But I needed to let that sink down deep to my bones.  That I have purpose.  I was created with purpose.  I am for a purpose.  And while feeding babies, educating kids, training them up in the way they should go, maintaining some sort of sanity for my husband and I, and serving in our local church is a HUGE PART of my purpose and the season that I am in right now, this season doesn't mean dreams and desires get thrown out the window.  It doesn't mean that the unique ways God has crafted my heart, and the amazing talents He's gifted me with are to be shoved to the side.  Sure, life will come in waves and our time will need to be wisely incremented towards that which is most important.  And yes, those field trip forms are necessary. As is your full time job if outside the home. Or inside. Wildly important. Wellness visits with the doctor.  Caring for your neighbor or elderly parent, making meals for college students, finalizing Sunday School plans and lesson plans and organizing fun runs at school, they're all important.  But can I share with you a powerful and life changing truth?  

You. Are. Important.  Not your role, or your title, or your status.  Just YOU.

You Matter.

Your heart matters.

Your desires matter.

That big idea you were told would never work out, it matters.

That dream you have to create beauty in only a way you can, it is important.

Those days of dancing long ago - they're not silly or useless.  

YOU MATTER.

“The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

The day you were born is evidence enough that the Lord purposed you for such a time as this. Not to sit on the sidelines watching everyone else pursue their hearts’ desires, but to actively pursue Him and seek His calling on your life.

However, before we can begin to dream and looking for ways and opportunities to chase down that big idea or share your uniqueness with the world, we must first and foremost remember our identity. Our striving, growing, developing will have nothing to stand on apart from having a true grasp and understanding that you are saved by grace, through Jesus Christ, being called an heir and child of God, being given the task to bring His kingdom here, SO THAT others might be invited to taste and see that God is good (psalm 34:8). The end goal of everything we do must always be to bring honor, glory and better understanding due HIS name.

So what does that look like when 1001 other things are tugging for your time, attention, and energy?  How does this play out?  How does the "you matter" and "your purpose" narrative weave it's way into your ever so tight schedule?  

  1. Proverbs 29:18 cautions “Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.”. Ask God for the what and the how and the when.  Those lofty dreams and ideas that have been put on the shelf of "never"? Or how about the shelf that seems empty because something long ago paralyzed your ability and reasoning to dream? He so desires to show more of Himself to you, so that His goodness might be known in new and fresh ways to those around you. Seek Him.

    Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened to you. For whoever asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

    Matthew 7:7-11

  2. Think back to the things you loved and enjoyed prior to making amazing children, and find out how to do them.  Take an art class, schedule a monthly dinner with friends, serve at the local soup kitchen, train for that 5k, pick an afternoon (or 3) a week devoted to curling up and reading, take a cooking class, sign up for a writing seminar, plan a yearly girls weekend, go back to college, learn how to garden, go rock that adult hip hop class, and on and on and on.  You can trust the complete narrative of the Bible that you were created by a creative God and find ways to enjoy the way He created you - that did not go away once you had kids, or started a new job or taking care of an elderly parent.  

  3. Make time for you and stop feeling guilty about it. It is good and right and pleasing to carve out time to worship the Lord through our time and talents. Jesus sought time for rest and to be present with the Father. God, the creator and giver of rest, said rest is good and necessary. So instead of waiting until you’re at a breaking point to take time away to pursue and experience the Lord through your God given passions, make it an important part of your week/month.

Take time alone this week or month and set aside time to begin daring to dream. You were created to make a difference and bring His light into a fallen place!

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

And if you want a free printable to hang in the bathroom, kitchen sink, dashboard of the car, reminding you of the truth that you were created on purpose, with purpose, for purpose, fill out this form below!

Name *
Name

Servitude or Sonship?

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Have you ever experienced that kind of encouragement... the kind where you felt like you were fortified in your faith, wings to soar, or absolute courage to do something that perhaps is out of your comfort zone?  I wish I could do that for each of you.  Give you words of affirmation to meet you wherever you are at in your life and journey to uplift you and give you fortification to carry on.  

Recently the Lord has been fortifying me in my relationship with Him.  He has been revealing to me things that I have thought and held tightly to that perhaps were not healthy or not even what he intended our relationship to be or to look like.  I have experienced such encouragement and been uplifted and given freedom through my new understanding of Him and my relationship with Him.  

In a recent conversation with a new friend, he was relating a story of a conversation between two men, one-a muslim man, and the other-a Christian; where the Christian man asked the muslim man “who is God to you?” and the muslim man said, he is the sovereign King and I am his faithful servant.  

For a moment I thought, I believe that that is true, and as I sat and listened there was something that really stung me as I evaluated my own relationship with the Lord and couldn’t really identify what was wrong with that statement.  He IS after all the sovereign King.  In fact the Bible says…He is the King of all Kings.  He sits on His throne.  He is the just ruler.  Over and again in scripture God is referred to as “sovereign”, or the “sovereign Lord”.  He is sovereign; supreme, a ruler, possesses ultimate power.  These are true of God.  

Psalm 95:3 “For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods.”

The problem with the statement is not in my understanding of who God is.  It is my lack of understanding of who I am in relationship to the sovereign King.  

But then there came the conclusion to his illustration and he said the muslim man asked the Christian man “Who is God to you?” and his response was: “He is my loving father, and I am His beloved child”.  

Oh, man.  Yes!  That is the right answer!  That is the relationship I want with God.  

But, even more amazing AND encouraging is that scripture clearly shows that that is the relationship He wants with me and each of you.  A relationship of sonship. This is what He intends.  Not that we continue on in a spirit of bondage or slavery or servitude to Him, but that we enter into relationship with Him as his child, his heir, his beloved.  

This relationship, or statement in NO WAY compromises the FACT that He is and remains the sovereign King.  He is ruler, He possesses ultimate power, He is King above all Kings.  

But I am not just His servant.  Nor does He want our relationship with Him to be one  of only servitude.  In John 15:15 Jesus says “I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.” 

Does that give you hope and freedom and does it lift your head?

To know and believe that the KING of all KINGS has invited you into adoption as His child and heir.  His beloved.  Not his slave.  You are not in bondage to obedience to Him.  

Galations 4:4-7 says "But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir."

[An important note to this scripture is that the terminology can sometimes feel that it is excluding women but actually the term is intentional in verse 5, that “we might receive adoption to sonship”.  The Greek word for “adoption to sonship” is a legal term referring to the full legal standing of an adopted male heir in Roman culture. ]  which means that the person adopted as a child of God receives the full inheritance and standing and importance of that which a male child would receive (at that time culturally) that a son would.  It is not exclusive or belittling to women, it is actually counter-culture and uplifting to women.  He is saying that our VALUE is the same…men and women.

For so long, I learned and believed that my service and obedience pleased the Lord, regardless of my relationship with Him, yet I have come to see that it is only in relationship with Him as my loving father that I can then offer to Him my sacrifice of obedience and service.    

Obedience comes as an outpouring of a thankful heart from a child of God to His loving Father.  

Obedience out of compulsion is not a sacrifice to the Lord, but rather a misunderstanding of relationship with (and relating to) Him in a worthy and desired manner.   What IS pleasing to Him is the communion and faith and love we seek to have with Him.   

Vs. 5 says He came to “redeem those under the law”.  Redeem means to make right, put back into right relationship with, to compensate for, to save and deliver from.  

That redeeming process makes right immediately, through Jesus’ death and resurrection, what was not right.  Specifically our relationship with Him.  When we are redeemed and adopted, the relationship is made right.  

However, there is still a process for us to experience and understand and live in the right standing that we have been given through faith in Jesus.   That process of redemption and refining is a life-long journey of seeking and knowing and understanding Him.  It is not immediate.  

I have worked in foster care and adoption as a social worker, on and off, for the past 17 years.  I know and have seen that when a child receives a warped kind of affection or is the victim of physical abuse, that is presented to them as love or feels like attention or care, that becomes what they interpret as love.  A child does not always, and probably typically, doesn’t understand that what they are experiencing is not a good or true representation of love or care.  But to them, that is what they know and find comfort in.  So even when you remove a child from harm or away from the proximity of neglect or abuse, they must re-learn what is good, and appropriate, and loving, in a healthy way.  And that takes a long time and patience and sincere understanding of how the mind works and develops.

When we adopted our son, he had spent nearly 2-years in an orphanage receiving care from medical staff, and workers, who were caring for dozens of children at a time.  He was fed and changed, and trained to some extent.  But any understanding he had of love and care was, at the most, limited.  When he would cry initially and wanted to be held or comforted he would approach with his back first…towards you.  Because that is how he was trained.  He was held and comforted perhaps to some extent, but in an effort to limit his attachment to the workers they taught the children to be held not chest to chest or face to face, but only with their back toward the care-giver.  We had to retrain him to learn about attachment, and dependence, and to be vulnerable.  Honestly, this is still a work in process for sure.  But when there are moments when he seeks comfort or is dependent on me as his mom or expresses affection…it is an amazing moment!  To witness and know that he is learning to be loved more fully and rightly.   

This is the same for us with our faith journey and story.  We have heard and learned many things over the course of our lives and relationship with God.  Some are good, some are not so good.  We learn them from others, in church, at home, we are accused of things by Satan.  He perpetuates our own striving and trying to earn favor.  

But, when we pursue God, and allow Him to teach us, through His redeeming work in our lives, what His love for us truly and fully is and what His desired relationship looks like, it fortifies us in who we are and what we are doing.  His love and affection for you is so great and so individual.  

Recently I was rereading the story of Jacob and Esau

In Genesis, Isaac and Rebekah (who had been unable to conceive for 20 years) give birth to twins.   Esau first, all red and hairy and Jacob second grasping at Esau’s heal.  Their father Isaac favored Esau and Rebekah favored Jacob.  When they grew older and in a moment of desperation and hunger Esau gave his birthright to Jacob (the younger brother) for a meal.  Later, in Genesis 27, Jacob is directed by his mother to steal the blessing from their ailing father, and after in 27:41, Esau vows to kill Jacob.  Jacob (at the insistence of his mother) leaves his home and marries Leah and then Rachel and starts a life away from Esau and his past. His inheritance increases as does his property and family.  But, he lives his life knowing and feeling that his relationship with his brother Esau is not right.  He lives in fear of Esau pursuing him and rightly avenging his losses.  Then Esau comes for Jacob.  Esau has finally found where he is living and is coming for him.  And Jacob scrambles to assemble his people anticipating that Esau is going to avenge and kill him.  

But when Esau approaches, he faces his brother Jacob and he embraces him and Jacob weeps into his brother neck.  In that miraculous moment their relationship is restored.  There is no more hiding or fearing.  Jacob has been found and forgiven….and is loved.  And Esau is freed from the pain of his past.  

Their relationship had not changed over the years.  They did not cease to be brothers.  But they ceased to live in right relationship with each other because of fear and striving. 

I love this story and the beautiful picture of how in a moment of love and forgiveness all relationship is made right.  I think this is a picture of how the Lord welcomes us into a full and right relationship with Him-that is living and believing  when we recognize that we have been trying to earn His favor.  He embraces us in the fullness of His love when we come to Him knowing what we deserve, which is death, and He compassionately gives us sonship through His love.  

Praying that you live and rest in the knowledge of His love for you!

XO,

A

Hard days ≠ Bad Days

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Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.  

Galatians 6:9

Early on in my mama-hood I was coming to grips that my firstborn was not a great sleeper.  Which sounds so trivial, doesn’t it? But, you see. He was a firstborn and I was in charge and we do schedules, so he needed to be a sleeper.  It’s what we type A mamas do. We schedule and keep clean and make little people do what they’re told. And by golly, they need to sleep.  In my naivity and lack of experience I fought hard.  I tried. I read all the things and browsed all the forums and any day that my non sleeper did exactly what I expected - didn’t sleep - I deemed a bad day.  My husband would call home from wherever he was traveling to on any given week and graciously ask “how was your day?” “Ugh. Bad. He didn’t sleep. He cried and ate.”  Which, as I am writing this, I am literally laughing out loud.

Eventually there were two little Grimme babies and of course quite naturally, “problems” evolve and seasons change.  Maybe it wasn’t the constant crying or lack of a solid schedule, but rather more bickering and fighting; spilled milk and splattered oatmeal by now the third baby that joined our family.  Colored dry erase marker on your friends most beautiful chair. Winter coats stuffed in the toilet for the 18th time. Sidenote: What is it with kids and toilets?! Again seasons change and certain things become the norm.  Like every child going through a “stuffing things in the toilet phase” and “coloring on every surface other than paper”.

These days the hard is a different type of hard, physically and mentally exhausting.  I wear tennis shoes around my house so my back doesn’t hurt. It’s 2 pm and we’ve just now started school for the day.  I’ve been wearing the same 3 pairs of stretchy pants on rotation for at least two weeks. I got dressed nicely one day and someone told me how pretty I looked and asked me if I got to shower.  <--true story.

Maybe you find yourselves in a new phase of life, a different season of hard that you thought you’d be leaving behind.  It’s supposed to get easier, right? Where diapers and sleepless nights and temper tantrums are a thing of the past? But here you are and it’s now the heart to heart conversations, reprooving and correcting on an emotional level that are just draining.  Attitudes and eyerolls abound. You are navigating the struggle against technology, revisiting conversations you’ve been having for 10 years now. Dishes and laundry are STILL everywhere. One catastrophe after another: a child gets hurt, someone is lost in the woods, someone swallows a light bulb...all in the span of 50 minutes.  <--also true story. And we will all be lucky if anyone gets more than a piece of bread for dinner tonight because I just. Can’t. Even.

The day is nearing an end (does 6pm count as the end?) and we are faced with that nagging question: “How was your day?”  

      Hard.  

     Really, really hard.  Exhausting. Hilarious and sweet sometimes, but flat out hard.

I could rattle off the many things that made it a bad day:  Harsh words from a family member. Constructive criticism (but criticism none-the-less).  A difficult boss. The car broke down (correction: I ran into someone else’s car so well, now it’s broken down).  No fruit in your ministry. Children arguing again. Zero motivation from your team. The water heater is busted.  Another medical bill. You’re unable to meet the deadlines. Whatever it may be, as hard as it may be, I’m just not sure we were ever created to live and stay stuck in the hardest parts of our days.  I wonder how much more productive, how much more fruit, how much more JOY we might have if we tallied those days into the “good - but hard” category.

As I think through the hard that is this week, the challenges coming in this day that awaits (as my now 8 year old non-sleeper stumbles down the hallway waking up the entire neighborhood as he makes his way to the kitchen at the unacceptable time of 6:45am which is approximately 15 minutes before the standing 8 year rule of 7am wake up time) awaits the reminder that hard days are indicative of the reality that this isn’t our forever home.  Each season carries a new weight and responsibility that’s different than the last, yet still hard in its own way. Hard days means we’re sowing and reaping into better character, healthier lifestyle, less self centeredness. This not-forever-home of ours isn’t intended to be BAD.  Though hard, hard days are always opportunity for the Lord to show up and provide - and that, that I can say is good.

So today, as you head out into the corporate world or hang in your pajamas wiping snot all day - let’s shift our focus and our perspective to the recognition that hard days ≠ bad days.  Let’s embrace an opportunity to flex our muscles and dig in a little deeper, or strip ourselves of the pride that’s clouding our purpose. The task the Lord has set before us can have eternal value, which means it can often be hard.  So, so hard. But He hasn’t left us alone and it doesn’t have to be bad.  

Say no to the bad, and embrace the hard.  Let the joy of the Lord be your strength today, loved ones!  

**Also, as an encouragement to you mamas out there … God has softened my type-a-ness.  Chalk it up to getting older or the 3 precious, dirty, unorganized little boys He’s graced me with… Messes don’t scare me anymore and neither do kiddos awake in the night.  He’s brought me to a place to expect and accept the interruptions, and find Him in the midst of it all. Which is just so much sweeter than letting Him try and make His way into my perceived grip on things.

 

XOXO

L

 

When my passion doesn’t align with yours.

 

Soon after we adopted our son from Russia, the Russian Federation completely closed its doors to adoption from the United States of America and they have remained closed since that time in 2012.  According to Wikipedia there are more than 650,000 orphans in Russia. When we brought Titus home in August of 2012, we did not know at the time that if there had been any delay in our process or paperwork we likely would never have brought him home.  By the close of the year of 2012, even families who were in process or had been approved for the adoption of their children were not allowed to return to bring them home.

Can you imagine?  Knowing that your child, whom you have committed yourself to as a parent would now know that disappointment anew of being left behind.  My heart broke. For the children, for the adoptive parents, for our broken systems and our broken world. In response I called on the people of our church to come together to pray.  

We set aside an evening and prepared points to pray over.  We secured a space and set a mood of reverence and reflection.  And of the 100’s of people who called our church theirs, only 4 people, beside myself, came to pray.  Only 4. My heart was broken. How is it possible that more people were not compelled to pray? To fall before the Lord and ask Him to intervene.  Even now, all these years later, I can’t explain away my disappointment or talk myself out of feeling just so sad for that situation.

However, in these several years that have passed, I can say that I know and believe in a new way, that God was present.  I know His faithfulness and love does not need to be made evident to me in a tangible way or through a “successful” prayer meeting or turn out in order for me to know and experience it.  It is not because of the power of our numbers, or the strength of our fervency, or the articulate words we can say to get Him to answer or respond to our requests. It is God alone and His love who accomplishes His will.  

Through prayer we have the opportunity to align with Him, not get Him to align with us.  And I can honestly say that that night, those several years ago, my purpose was unfulfilled not because people didn’t show up but because I couldn’t get over my disappointment and therefore missed the chance for sweet communion with other believers and with the Lord.  And as I continue to grow in my relationship with Him, I pray that I can be thankful for moments to spend time with Him regardless of what else is in my heart to accomplish. I pray for you too that whatever season you are in, you know the presence and faithfulness of the Lord.  


Phillipians 4:4-7

4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

 

Come and see what God has done

Every February or so one of our children (we'll call him Champ) has a yucky bout of pneumonia.  And so far it's landed right on or around his birthday, leaving him with conflicting feelings every year leading up to his special day.  Excited but nervous, slightly erring on the side of a germaphobe; very willing to rest and take off from all activities in hopes he might bypass what has become the inevitable.  And this year as I stood looking over his toothless grin, glassy eyes and winded cheeks I couldn't help but bear a tiny bit of sadness for him.  Sick again, on his birthday.  We know the drill, and thank God for modern medicine that it is treatable and short-lived, but I was staring at a fresh reminder of what was the reality of his birth.  What has been part of our story each year.  With each birth thereafter.  What could likely always be.  

And in that moment, as my mama heart just wanted things to be right and perfect and wonderful for him, I am reminded to "Come and see what God has done..." Psalm 66:5

Setting precedence for the rest of mankind in Joshua 4, God commands Joshua to instruct his twelve men, one from each tribe to go and lay up a stone, a sign amongst themselves.  Beginning in verse 20 it reads, "And those twelve stones, which they took out of the Jordan, Joshua set up at Gilgal. 21 And he said to the people of Israel, “When your children ask their fathers in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 22 then you shall let your children know, ‘Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.’ 23 For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, 24 so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”

You see when Champ was born he was a tank.  I was overdue and a tank myself.  Labor was long and slow-progressing, and in a pinnacle of despair he was forced out only to get severely stuck and aspirate what seemed like every ounce of meconium there was and then some more.  Things quickly spiraled downward for us both and we laid in the hospital waiting to catch a glimpse of our baby.  Things continued to worsen and there we sat in front of the neonatologist being told in the middle of the night that unless he was flown elsewhere he likely wouldn't make it.  Being in the drugged and fatigued state that I was, there wasn't much ability to process and absorb the situation.  But what we we did know is that the Rock of Ages was with us, holding us, never leaving us for a moment; and so through our exhausted and shaky voices the only thing we were able to whisper was

"God...please breathe life into this baby's lungs"  

And. He. Did.

Early on in the history of all the things, God stared at the faces of disappointment on his dear children's faces for generations knowing that our hearts were bound to a place that is not our forever home. That pains and trials and the day to day would come to steal our joy, robbing us of our true hearts desire.  And there He instructs his people, after delivering them from a situation that would seemingly be a reminder in and of itself forever and ever, "you need to do this."  So that you may KNOW the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may FEAR the Lord your God forever.   

When I am staring in the face of disappointment, His call invites us to come and see what He has done.

When I am woken up nightly in the face of a child's illness, He says come, lest you not forget what I have done.

When you roll over in the middle of the night only to be reminded of the empty space that was once made warm by the covenant of marriage, God invites us to not forget His goodness.

When a loved one is handed a terminal disease, His miraculous story and Spirit groan with His Word written forever in history begging us to just REMEMBER what He has done.

As I fumble through the messiness of my own sin, his nail pierced hands cry don't you forget what I have done!

So with eyes afresh, I stare at my precious and beautiful gift of an eight year old.  And I am reminded that God is the God that breathes life into dry bones.  Or meconium stained lungs.  He is a God bearing scars to blot out my every transgression and offering me a fresh taste of grace and mercy with each morning I wake up.  He is the God that has granted us another day, another moment undeserving; a God, that as we stare daily into the face of disappointment beckoning us to shift our eyes from Him, we are never facing a second apart from Him, if we so choose.  He is the God whose love alone is better than anything life has to offer.  So today, today I will choose to lay up a stone or two or ten of remembrance.  Because when I am faced with a moment that wrecks my heart to pieces I will KNOW and REMEMBER the goodness and MIGHTINESS of our God.  And without Him, I've got nothing.  

 

Psalm 66

66 Shout for joy to God, all the earth;
2     sing the glory of his name;
    give to him glorious praise!
3 Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds!
    So great is your power that your enemies come cringing to you.
4 All the earth worships you
    and sings praises to you;
    they sing praises to your name.” Selah

5 Come and see what God has done:
    he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man.
6 He turned the sea into dry land;
    they passed through the river on foot.
There did we rejoice in him,
7     who rules by his might forever,
whose eyes keep watch on the nations—
    let not the rebellious exalt themselves. Selah

8 Bless our God, O peoples;
    let the sound of his praise be heard,
9 who has kept our soul among the living
    and has not let our feet slip.
10 For you, O God, have tested us;
    you have tried us as silver is tried.
11 You brought us into the net;
    you laid a crushing burden on our backs;
12 you let men ride over our heads;
    we went through fire and through water;
yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.

13 I will come into your house with burnt offerings;
    I will perform my vows to you,
14 that which my lips uttered
    and my mouth promised when I was in trouble.
15 I will offer to you burnt offerings of fattened animals,
    with the smoke of the sacrifice of rams;
I will make an offering of bulls and goats. Selah

16 Come and hear, all you who fear God,
    and I will tell what he has done for my soul.
17 I cried to him with my mouth,
    and high praise was on[a] my tongue.[b]
18 If I had cherished iniquity in my heart,
    the Lord would not have listened.
19 But truly God has listened;
    he has attended to the voice of my prayer.

20 Blessed be God,
    because he has not rejected my prayer
    or removed his steadfast love from me!

 

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Living and responding in shame

 

Maybe it starts as a whisper.  A subtle echo in the recesses of your mind.  From a place, from a person, from within.  That says you are not enough.  You are not good.  You are less.  Or maybe it comes as a shout, or a fist, or an attack.  And it screams to you, that you are unworthy.  

Wherever it comes from, it remains, and it grows and it festers.  It reminds you that you have reason to feel ashamed of yourself.  Perhaps you can cover it up or push it away or counter those whispers and shouts with other things that you are proud of or good at...but it remains.

And sometimes it bubbles up and overtakes.  It is as if you are stripped bare and shoved in front of a crowd of people and asked to tell everyone a joke, or to tell them how to make that salad that you brought to the potluck, or give them a book report of your favorite book from middle school.

Now, envision that you are being held by your most beloved.  You are safe and secure in their arms swinging together and all of the clamors of the outside world are far away.  And in that moment your beloved asks you to share a joke, or that recipe, or to tell them about your favorite book.  In that moment you feel secure and safe and free.  That. loved ones, is living and responding in the love of your savior.  In Jesus’ love for us we can rest and live and respond fully.  We can know our value, our worth and our identity in the safety and security of His love for us.  This is the freedom I want to live in.  For myself and for each of you.  That we would know and live securely in His love for us.  And dear ones, how deep the Father’s love is.  How vast beyond all measure.  This is what he says (through Paul) to His children about His love for us:

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”  Ephesians 3:17b-19  

My prayer for you this week is that you rest in the safety and security and FREEDOM of your Savior’s unending, and unrelenting love for you.  Not for you as part of a larger group of “you’s” but for *YOU* as a individual; uniquely created and individually loved by God.  You are loved and you are worthy of love because your Heavenly Father decided so.     

 

I Am Content - or am I?

I’ve been mulling this one over for a short time now.  It’s been a consistent theme that keeps coming up in various areas of our home and devotional life.  

One of my favorite parts of morning hour with my kids this year is using our Virtue Cards.  Have you seen them?  There are both scripture/non scripture versions and we focus on a new virtue each week.  There are a total of 12 virtues covered so we are cycling back through them now.  As we began to go through them again our first card for 2018 was I Am Content.  The subtitle and definition given is: “I have my wanter under control.  I am NOT...bored, greedy or always wanting more and I don’t beg or whine!”  It’s a common question in our house and it’s become a fun joke within our family that the kids will sometimes playfully ask me as well (and most often, I need it!).  But even more than the simplicity and the applicability, I love the way it ministered to my heart this many years past my childhood.  I’m not above the tendencies of selfishness and boredom, greediness and searching for more.  In what ways is my heart wanting for things that aren’t within the fold of what God has for me in the now?  In what ways am I whining or begging - maybe even for good things?  How do the choices throughout my day reflect the wants in my heart?  Am I quick tempered?  Feeling like I am deserving of something that I don’t yet have?  Do I scour the internet looking for ways to improve or update or collect just to satisfy another want in my life?  

On January 1 when taking down all things Christmas (does that give anyone else great satisfaction?  The decluttering and putting away of all the extra things around the house post Christmas?) the Lord gave us this verse as I was writing on our kitchen chalkboard:

“For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.”  Psalm 107:9

His well of satisfaction never runs dry; His gift of eternity never runs out.  The things of this earth that my heart may want, my finger might chase, or my attitude may reflect will satisfy but for a moment.  But He alone will satisfy to an immeasurable depth of satisfaction.  

This morning while studying the innumerable ways God is more than enough, I read this quote that stopped me in my tracks.  May you be blessed, challenged and reminded that He is a good shepherd, caring deeply for his flock and providing immeasurably more than the temporaries of this world could ever offer.

“There are really only two options in life.  If the Lord is my shepherd, then I shall not want; but if I am in want, then it is obvious that the Lord is not my shepherd.”  

David H. Roper, Folk Psalms of Faith